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Quitter

10 February 2012

Since it is a topic I plan to talk about, probably daily, for the next several months (at least), I thought I’d start with an annoucement:

I Quit Smoking Today.

Now, I could have said “I’m quitting smoking today” but that implies an event that has not yet taken place. I’ve quit, it’s done. Today is Day 1.

I was very much debating waiting saying anything, to anyone (besides Angelina who got an earful this morning already) until after at least a few weeks. Better to share success then risk the embarrassment of failure in front of everyone, right? I guess, but since I plan to make this a permanent change, I don’t really see the point of keeping it a secret. If I mess up, so be it, it’ll be back to Quitting again – there’s no going back. Besides, I sort of like the idea of having an audience for this – will keep me motivated (I hope).

Why Now?

Fact of the matter is that I never intended to quit smoking in my whole life, everyone who knows me knows this. My bestest friends and family rarely brought up the topic of quitting because they knew I wouldn’t.

Until Eddie. Eddie is great because he still dates me even though I smoke, but he wants me to quit. This still wasn’t enough for me to do anything immediate about it. I’m moving in with him, and even then I didn’t plan on quitting. Eddie wants to keep the option open that one day I might bear his progeny, so I said “Fine, if we get Engaged, I’ll quit smoking.” I thought this was a great plan – I’ll get the motivation to quit (eventually), and the timeline will work out so I’m not poisoning the infant I’ll (theoretically) gestate. However, Eddie kept insisting that I quit, and at some point “If we get engaged, I’ll quit smoking” turned into “I’m not quitting smoking till we get engaged”, and that isn’t the same thing at all.

The Catalyst: I went to bed last night with no intention to quit today (tommorrow, next week or month..) but I got a message from a friend this morning, detailing the personal struggles he’s been going through with a very serious family illness, and blatantly asking me to quit smoking. Something CLICKED.

I didn’t quit before, because I was never going to quit. Now that I had an idea I would one day, for me to continue smoking ‘in the meantime’ is idiotic. There’s no reason for me to continue till “until we get engaged”, it’s spiteful and callous.

I started smoking regularly in about 1994, and my last cigarette was about 3am last night. I had it not knowing it was my last. I’ve thrown out the rest of the pack(s) I had, and there are no cigarettes in my house. I did, however, buy nicotine lozenges – which I intend to use to subside the cravings these first few days. I’m going to start exercising again – I know I’ll need the endorphins! I’m also very busy in the next few weeks packing and moving, so hopefully this will provide somewhat of a distraction. Angelina has convinced me to sign up for the Driven To Quit March Challenge (she’s been trying to get me to win that car for years).

I know that I’ll have cranky moments, and I’ll have withdrawl cravings, and it’s not going to be easy. Luckily, I have amazing Will Power, it’s nearly superhuman. I know I can do this – and I know I’ll have a lot of support from everyone. Thanks in advance.

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  • Karen

    Good for you! When I quit I noticed the cravings only lasted a few minutes. Reaching for a smoke after the craving for passes feels like such failure. Keep that thought… And during the each craving reach for food, go shopping, make a phone call, brush your teeth, play with your cat, dust the window blinds, hop in the car for a ride…etc. Know this: in a week the cravings will be gone! You can do it!

    Karen

  • AHLI

    Booo!  HIssss!  Now you’ll never look cool unless you get a motorcycle and a leather jacket or something.

  • http://www.iphoneappgirl.com ChantelleJoy

    LOL I LOVE YOU!

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