Firstly, it’s true when they say that you’ll never find the best time to quit – there’s always a reason why ‘this weekend was a bad choice to decide to quit’, be it stress, or social obligations or whatever. My first weekend as a non-smoker included a Party-Bus trip to Niagara Falls, wherein (this is absolutely true) 80-90% of the participants were smokers.

Luckily it was a non-smoking bus, and obviously in the casino, restaurant and nightclub we went to were all safe. Except that alcohol is a huge trigger for nicotine cravings, and having a few (near too many) cocktails definitely made the situation worse. Luckily with Eddie by my side, I made it through the trip. Besides, then I had an excuse to play Guitar-Hero on my iPhone while ignoring/surrounded by, a crowd of people – which is pretty much my ideal state of being. My favourite part of the weekend was the conversation I had with my Masseur at the spa in Niagara – he has smoked for 23+ years and quit 8 years ago – and everyone I told said the same thing, they were proud of me! (Mostly strangers, which was strange but still nice to hear.) The next day was easy-peasy as I’ve always hated smoking while hung-over. Hooray.

I’m noticing the main challenge I’m having is that every single craving feels like a full-blown Panic Attack. For the last 3-4 days I’ve been at a higher stage of anxiety and I’m getting all the physical symptoms of that, along side the withdrawal symptoms. I’m trying to use Distraction as best I can, because thinking about it even more is very perpetuating. Recognizing this situation has probably actually made it worse, but knowing that I am (probably) in the last few hours of the physical addiction does help.

*Fingers Crossed*

I really just need to make it till February 29th – I honestly feel like inspiration to Win This Car is going to be enough to keep me quit for all of March! I’m going to name my new Ford “Peter Jackson” after the esteemed director – and the brand of cigarettes I gave up to win her.

Now, I could have said “I’m quitting smoking today” but that implies an event that has not yet taken place. I’ve quit, it’s done. Today is Day 1.

I was very much debating waiting saying anything, to anyone (besides Angelina who got an earful this morning already) until after at least a few weeks. Better to share success then risk the embarrassment of failure in front of everyone, right? I guess, but since I plan to make this a permanent change, I don’t really see the point of keeping it a secret. If I mess up, so be it, it’ll be back to Quitting again – there’s no going back. Besides, I sort of like the idea of having an audience for this – will keep me motivated (I hope).

Why Now?

Fact of the matter is that I never intended to quit smoking in my whole life, everyone who knows me knows this. My bestest friends and family rarely brought up the topic of quitting because they knew I wouldn’t.

Until Eddie. Eddie is great because he still dates me even though I smoke, but he wants me to quit. This still wasn’t enough for me to do anything immediate about it. I’m moving in with him, and even then I didn’t plan on quitting. Eddie wants to keep the option open that one day I might bear his progeny, so I said “Fine, if we get Engaged, I’ll quit smoking.” I thought this was a great plan – I’ll get the motivation to quit (eventually), and the timeline will work out so I’m not poisoning the infant I’ll (theoretically) gestate. However, Eddie kept insisting that I quit, and at some point “If we get engaged, I’ll quit smoking” turned into “I’m not quitting smoking till we get engaged”, and that isn’t the same thing at all.

The Catalyst: I went to bed last night with no intention to quit today (tommorrow, next week or month..) but I got a message from a friend this morning, detailing the personal struggles he’s been going through with a very serious family illness, and blatantly asking me to quit smoking. Something CLICKED.

I didn’t quit before, because I was never going to quit. Now that I had an idea I would one day, for me to continue smoking ‘in the meantime’ is idiotic. There’s no reason for me to continue till “until we get engaged”, it’s spiteful and callous.

I started smoking regularly in about 1994, and my last cigarette was about 3am last night. I had it not knowing it was my last. I’ve thrown out the rest of the pack(s) I had, and there are no cigarettes in my house. I did, however, buy nicotine lozenges – which I intend to use to subside the cravings these first few days. I’m going to start exercising again – I know I’ll need the endorphins! I’m also very busy in the next few weeks packing and moving, so hopefully this will provide somewhat of a distraction. Angelina has convinced me to sign up for the Driven To Quit March Challenge (she’s been trying to get me to win that car for years).

I know that I’ll have cranky moments, and I’ll have withdrawl cravings, and it’s not going to be easy. Luckily, I have amazing Will Power, it’s nearly superhuman. I know I can do this – and I know I’ll have a lot of support from everyone. Thanks in advance.

Luckily, however, taking pictures of nearly every restaurant meal I ever have is a (slightly odd, but very satisfying) hobby of mine – so buried deep in my iPhone is probably photographic evidence of each. Perhaps one day I’ll unearth them to talk about it – but in the meantime, I’m going to try and make a more concentrated effort to share my meals more frequently.

I do not expect this to be a popular blog topic per se, but I’m certain I know of at least two people who will get a kick out of it.

So, to start, let’s cover this most recent weekend, which was filled with culinary delights, starting with Friday.

Eddie and I were sitting around his flat, pondering about what to do for dinner. I wanted fish, but didn’t want to cook – he suggested French – after some negotiating availability on OpenTable, I’d remembered a Tweet I’d RT’d about restaurants *not* taking part in Winterlicious – La Societe was listed, and is literally two blocks from the apartment. I booked right away. (Ah, the power of Social Media!)

We arrived a few minutes early and were seated at the (totally absolutely wonderful) bar. I got a Chambord/Vodka Sparkling Cocktail and Eddie got a Rose Shiraz (in the end, not a great choice for him). I’m pretty certain that they’d forgotten about us, as nearly half an hour later we had to ask if our table was ready… they seated us almost immediately.

The dining room is large, and has a fantastic ceiling feature of stained glass.

Eddie says they must have renovated like crazy, since the last time he was there it was a mid-range Chinese restaurant with bad lighting. Now, it’s cozy with its dark wood and plush booths.

To start I got, what can only be described as, The Best Mushroom Soup I Have Ever Eaten. Topped with Truffle Crème Fraîche – just delightful. It was smooth and potent, creamy and dangerously savoury. I could probably eat a bucket full of this soup, and it will most likely be the #1 reason for my future return to this restaurant. Kudos.

Eddie got Duck Confit [left], which looked and tasted heavenly. He said it was possibly the best duck he’d ever had (and he *loves* duck!).

I got the special of the day; Sea bream in Bacon Broth [right]. It hit the spot for my fish craving perfectly, although I don’t know if I would order it again.

I’m very interested in returning to try the items from the $36 3-Course Price Fixe Menu, which has The Soup listed, and other interesting fare.

Next up, a delightful Liberty Village brunch with Angelina on Saturday afternoon.

We were looking for somewhere to grab lunch before heading over to the Bridal Show (she is engaged, after all!) at the Ex, and I had hoped the we’d be able to try Liberty Belle, but apparently it’s shuttered. So, randomly I found The Brazen Head (which Angelina had been to before) – and was immediately drawn to it by the promise of $4 Caesars and a Brunch Menu.

The Caesar was delish, if a bit spicy – and we both agreed there was possibly Lemon it in (although this was deemed neither good nor bad). My Eggs Benny were… alright. They were standard and the homefries were crispy, and it was all very pleasant. I am profoundly jealous of Angelina’s dish: the Brazen Benedict, with its smoked salmon and potato pancakes, and salad. She won at Brunch.

Saturday evening was set aside specifically for our Annual Winterlicious Double-Date. Angelina had been trying to plan for the four of us to go to Mildred’s Temple Kitchen for some time (since she has a brilliant meal there last year), and she finally succeeded.

@BillyBobMac & @Anzi, @ChantelleJoy & No-Twitter-Eddie.

Since she’s written an entire review of the meal – I’ll simply link to it here – and you can read all about it, complete with tasty photos, I don’t really have anything to add.

I have just one last meal to share, which was lunch on Sunday.

Eddie and I spent the majority of the day wandering around the city looking for gifts for his soon-to-be-retired Father. By early afternoon was quite hungry, and had my brain SET on Raman (I actually specifically wanted Chinatown Ajisen), but Eddie didn’t like the sound of that – so we compromised and went to the new Urban Eatery at Eaton’s center.

I love this food court. Seriously, it’s the bees knees.

Eddie got some Vindaloo and I got a steaming bowl of Spicy Chili Beef Ramen from the Liberty Noodle. (Which, is funny since the Main Location is now closed???) It was very, VERY Good. Made me completely forget about Ajisen, and leave with a happy full belly.

So there you have it – my weekend food adventures. Now I’m hungry :(

Even more shocking to me is that this pattern continues to Best Director category, and onwards to the Best Actor (and Supporting) and even Best Actress nominations for the Oscars this year. In fact, of the “Major” categories, I’ve seen one single nominee – for Best Supporting actress and Original Screenplay – Bridesmaids. Does that seem right?

Either I am losing touch with my Cinephile heart, or this year’s nominations are idiotic. I submit the following as proof of the latter: King Fu Panda 2 is nominated in the Best Animated Feature category – Tin Tin is nowhere to be found.

Has the entire Academy taken Crazy Pills?

As an annual attendee of what is considered one of the most important pre-Oscar Film events each year, the Toronto International Film Festival, I honestly thought that I’d be on the cutting-edge of good cinema each year. At the 2011 Oscars I fared very well – having seen plenty of Academy-nom’d movies, and even more excitingly, several winning ones (including Best Foreign Film – which is basically the Holy Grail of Festival-goers ambitions). I saw several really fine films at TIFF in 2011, and while yes, many of the attendees are reflected in the nominations as they stand, I am generally baffled by the exclusion of others in favour of the ones listed.

Where’s Shame? Michael Fassbender and Carey Mulligan’s performances were heartbreakingly profound – and they should have been recognized for them. I’m not even going to mention the brilliant Directorial choices of Steven McQueen. What an awful oversight.

I hate Kirsten Dunst, have ever since Interview with the Vampire, but Hollywood loves her, and I’m honestly surprised she didn’t get mention with her genuinely decent role in Melancholia. Lars von Treir deserves some recognition for his work too, saying nothing of the absolutely wonderful Art Direction and Cinematography on the film.

Poor, unfortunate, Elizabeth Olsen, she really should have gotten a mention for Martha Marcy May Marlene. Similarly to Dunst she obviously put her heart and soul into the role this movie would not be nearly as poetic and haunting as it was with her pitch-perfect acting. This is one of those breakout roles that usually the Academy eats up – but instead this year they have decided to ignore it.

Finally, I offer Tilda Swinton in We Need to Talk About Kevin. Her performance was so raw and real, certainly it deserves a mention among her peers? Did nobody see this film besides myself, Angelina and Allison? As compared to The Iron Lady, does Meryl Streep *really* need another nomination for a role that was not nearly as emotionally deep as Tilda’s in Kevin? I don’t hate Maryl Streep – but stop it – STOP IT! STOP NOMINATING HER FOR EVERY SINGLE THING!

How about the male performances of the season? Ryan Gosling blew up at TIFF in Ides of March & Drive and yet the only noms those films get are for Adapted Screenplay and Sound Editing, respectively. What the What? I’ve already mentioned Fassbender, but seriously it’s worth mentioning again. Fassbender was robbed.

This brings me to the largest gripe I have about this year’s nominations. There have been numerous articles recently (such as this well-written on in the Toronto Star from last week) regarding the option to include Mo-Cap performances into the Acting categories. Although I haven’t seen, nor am I convinced that Andy Serkis deserves a nom for his particular performance in, Rise of the Planet of the Apes – the fact is that these actors are working just as hard, are just as talented and bring just as much to each role they take on as traditional roles. I suppose I was hoping that they’d give him a trophy in honour of his innovation in the field, and a decade-late nod for Gollum in the LOTR Trilogy (as the Academy does have a tradition of pulling moves like this). But there you have it, the CGI crew gets a nom and Serkis is ignored. My only resolution on this topic is that they have two years to change their mind and give him a nom (and ideally a win) for Gollum in the upcoming Hobbit films. We will have to wait and see.

I suppose I’m pleased with the attention given to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and how Harry Potter 7 (pt 2) has been given a few nods as the last hurrah for the franchise. I didn’t dislike Bridesmaids at all – and consider it one of the funniest films of 2011 – but it’s more suited for an MTV Movie Award than an Oscar. Maybe that makes me elitist – but I rather think the point of this entire rant is to proove that I’m not. The ‘Blockbusters’ are great, and some are definitely award-worthy, but never at the expensive of so many talented performers and filmmakers that are in the indepentan

I’m seriously considering not even watching the ceremonies this year – and hoping for a better in 2012. How disappointing.

Since I now actually enjoy visiting my own site, hopefully others will feel the same and I’ll start blogging on random topics more often. I’d really like to start actually writing about movies during the whole year, or about the tasty-tasty meals that Eddie takes me out on. I’ll be going to Vegas, and Edmonton later in the year, and would love to talk about that too here. We’ll see. I usually say I’ll get back into blogging and then fail immediately.

Since there’s nothing else much currently happening, I’ll simply leave you with a suggestion for your TV viewing pleasure; two of my new most favorite obsessions, Sherlock & Downton Abbey.

They’re both brilliant series and excellent examples of how British TV can be so much better than US TV.

The sense of community and acceptance, fun, excitement and overall revelry that an event like Comic-Con brings is something I’m delighted that Morgan Spurlock and the countless other nerd celebrities (Kevin Smith, Matt Groaning, Joss Wheaton, Stan Lee, Guillermo del Toro, Seth Rogan, Seth Green, Eli Roth… I could go on, literally for about an hour – there’s a tonne of celebrity interviews) brought to the big screen. If nothing else, as an excuse for people who enjoy Comic-Con, Comic Books, Genre Films, Sci-Fi, Superheros and Video Games to celebrate their love, and their annual celebration of their fandom.

The film follows a few different regular, every day attendees, as they visit The Con for different reasons. Artists, Dealers, Cosplayers and Collectors. Intermingled with their story is an overall arc of describing the event to the outsider, and simply offering an explanation on why this event is so huge. A few people mention, quite a bit, that Comic-Con is very simply now a Pop Culture Fest – a Studio-branded advertisement for anything and everything that may have an intense fan following. It’s really not about Comics anymore. I think they’re absolutly correct, but I think they’re missing a larger point.

I’m going to take my personal experience here for a moment to describe exactly what’s happening. In 1997, in high school, the lovley Angelina introduced me to a very small, gathering called Anime North. I didn’t really like Anime that much, but I knew about Sailor Moon, and I really liked dressing up. I borrowed a Sailor Mercury costume and went. It was fun. I kept going, and it kept getting bigger, a few years later I made my own costume, the main character from obscure Anime, Mah? Tsukai Tai!. It was great. I won an award! My tastes changed, and I lost what little interest I already had in Anime. Over the years my tastes grew, I started liking Star Trek, and Zombie Movies, retro Video Games and Lord of the Rings. While seemingly different, these interests instinctively go together. And I found FanExpo (and if I were American, I would have found Comic-Con).

Like FanExpo Canada, San Diego Comic-Con is an amalgamation of what used to be separate cons, Anime, Sci-Fi, Comic and Gaming. A celebration of all things geek. While the die-hard Comic Fans may lament, this is a glorious and fun event celebrated by geeks of all sort. It offers something for everyone, and it’s a party. Steampunk, Zombie, Furry, Goth – whatever your identity, you’ll be included.

My review of We Need to Talk About Kevin is up on CBC.ca, if you want to read it over there.

Yesterday I saw two very different sort of films, first up was Death of a Superhero, by Ian Fitzgibbon, and starring Andy Serkis and Thomas Brodie-Sangster aka, the Adorable little kid from Nanny McFee & Love, Actually. He’s really now 21, and an absolute rising star. I’d put him easily on par with Kodi Smit-McPhee as my ‘Eventual Oscar Winners’ category.

Death of a Superhero tells the story of a teenage boy, Rob, fighting cancer. Perhaps fighting is not the exact phrase, so much as rebelling against it. The first half of the film centers on his relationship with his new Therapist (Serkis), loosely encouraging him to continue his passion of drawing. Some of the film’s story, Rob’s emotions and fears, are told through animated scenes – a fantasy world that he has created wherein he’s a Superhero being chased by, essentially, Death. As his prognoses goes from better to worse, the story switches gears, and we turn to Rob’s close friends who are determined to not let him die a virgin. This second half may seem out of place, but it successfully portrays the sort of desperate hope and loneliness that the character must be feeling at the time.

[Ian FitzGibbon (Director), Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Aisling Loftus]

While still being emotional and serious, the film offers a lot of light comedy overtones. There are glimpses into the real dread and horror of the situation, sometimes via the animated sequences, and with flashes between the main character’s parents. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, I don’t think it quite crosses over to the heart-wrenching or heart-warming film it wants to be. I would be very interested to read the book on which it was based, to see if there’s more to it. Even still, it’s a decent little film, that I think is easily accessible to a wide audience, and reminds me in some ways to last year’s Griff the Invisible. Touching, but doesn’t quite take flight. Afterward, I stayed for one the rare Q&As that I actually feel helped me understand the film better. In particular, when the question was asked of Thomas, how he prepared for the role of a teenage terminal cancer patient. He was honest and replied that he didn’t visit cancer wards, or do much research on the disease itself.

The makeup, costume and props that were a part of his daily acting experience offers as much inspiration as he required in relation to the illness. He played the role how the character would have wanted to live, as a regular teen, who happened to be sick.

Photos from this Q&A and my Midnight Madness flick, Livid, can be found on my TIFF DAY 4 Flickr Set.